Bruce the Builder; Saturday Night Feeble

Great news – we're even closer to being able to field a Hall of Fame team made up entirely of people who were disappointing for the Metrostars/Red Bulls. We already have Balboa, Agoos, Lalas and Dooley, with Ramos as his captain. It's just a matter of time before Meola, Reyna and Pope arrive. If the veterans take care of Vermes and Sorber, we're more than halfway there!

Shame Sergio Galvan Rey isn't eligible. Yet. Unless we put him in as a Builder, like Bruce Arena.

Arena probably gets in as Builder on the strength of his Virginia career, let alone DC United. So he probably doesn't need to thank Park Ji-sung in his induction speech (although it would be awesome if he did). Congratulations, Coach.

Hey, if Sigi Schmid had won a trophy this year, he might have gotten in.

Really? But I checked just now, and Sigi wasn't mentioned….?

Meanwhile, Operation Make England, Slovenia and Algeria Overconfident is going even more smoothly than we had hoped.

There's a saying that there's no such thing as a worthless experiment – it can always be used as a bad example.

Or, as Bob Bradley put it:

All true, every word. US 1, Honduras 3, ladies and gentlemen.

I should be mad at Bradley for this performance, but I just can't get there. Unless the premise is that ten or twenty domestic-based players were overlooked somehow (and that Klinsmann would have found them), the players had a very simple job. Impress. People talk about how worthless we were tactically, but how imaginative were we going to be? Besides, it wasn't like Honduras was out there auditioning for the next chapter of "Inverting the Pyramid."

Ideally, this would be the first reel of "The Bad News Bears." They start out worthless and sucky, then after hard work and self-belief, and a couple of extra players, they are forged into a team that plays well and learns a little something about themselves.

Except in this version Walter Matthau's going to bring in about fifteen or twenty Jackie Earle Haleys. So it's not THAT heartwarming.

Although I would watch the hell out of that movie, come to think of it.

They said we were no-hopers. They said we had no chance. They said we couldn't play. So they cut me and a bunch of other people, and replaced us with better players. The next season, they won the championship. And I watched it at home.
THE IAN JOY STORY – coming to a theater near you

Oscar gold.

There are a couple more games – Salvador (which will prove nothing) and Holland (who ought to be a better measuring stick). I'd be startled if the federation finally gave into coaches' and MLS teams' wishes, and didn't schedule two or three friendlies after the roster is announced. They'll get better.

Or we can give our spot to the Republic of Ireland. One or the other.

I want to make sure that I'm talking about a tiny minority of fans here.

But the guys who decided "Mow my yard" would be a funny response to Honduran taunting? Stop going to games. Soccer doesn't need you. And if it does need you, it deserved to die anyway.

If you hate Central Americans that much, then man up like William Walker and go do something about it. Otherwise, don't hide in the safety of a sports stadium and tarnish the reputation of innocent bystanders like me.

Why didn't I say anything to your faces? Because you were drunk and bigger than me.

Because I'm a much more passive fan these days, I really shouldn't give too many notes to the guys trying to generate a little atmosphere.

And I know how tough it is to get the fans going when the team is stinking it up. I was in that very space the past few years with my fellow Galaxy fans, after all. If the players aren't into it, it's awfully hard for the fans.

But leaving "America – ******** Yeah!" off the song list? Simply inexcusable.

Unless they did it and I just missed it. But "A-FY!" is an three times a half song if ever there was one. It should be on the team crest, like "You'll Never Walk Alone" is for Liverpool.

Still, better to shake the rust off in January, than blow it in South Africa. We want our loud drunken obscenity fun, not racist. (And we shouldn't need January training camps for that, either.)

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